Sunday, January 18, 2009


Mistress sometimes asks me to do things that are unpleasant to me, to say things that she knows I am not comfortable saying. She sometimes calls me things that are kind of awful.

She has a plan for me even though I might not get it or see it immediately. It is unfolding terribly slowly.

She does these things not because she knows that I hate them but because she enjoys having me obey her. It sounds so simple and sometimes it is and other times it has been impossible for me. I feel sure that I have been able to change that. Mistress took me close to doing something I'd have hated and then relented but only once I had agreed with myself that doing it would be best for me, so that I would please her. I feel like I'll probably do it anyway, as hard as it will be.

She'll know I love her.

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