Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A scramble sentence

A sentence made from some of my scramble words:

The defection of the enlightened handmade nutcrackers caused the sweepstake officials to feel even queasier than they did during the magnificently handled botulism scare of '06, during which the extent of what they would need to amputate was found to be favorable.

I was with bekkers for a bit last night. Actually mistress was with her and I just watched. Mistress has a knack for this mistressing thing. Bekkers was defiant at first but is at this point is about as compliant and meek as you could imagine, which isn't much of a surprise really given her plight.

I'm not sure what she did but she must have done something inspirational. I've never seen Mistress treat someone so coldly as she is treating poor bekkers.

I finally got to talk with another prospective slave that Mistress is considering. Her name is Tapegirl and Mistress and I already have a nickname for her. She seems nice but is more of a bekkers than she is a gackt.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Saw Jan, crashed

Does one of these things cause the other?

This was one of those crashes where you don't realize it as first. You just keep typing and typing and typing and the you are so impressed that the person you're talking to has such good listening skills. And then you wait for a reply or try to move and... nothing.

I guess I really can't blame SL this time. Apparently our cable went out and took SL with it. I seem to be back on now so Jan... come on back. Jan? JAN! Come back here this instant!

Well a little Jan is far preferable to no Jan. I stayed and won a few more Lindens while I waited for Mistress.

Still having a bit of SL gacktiness.

My aim is off again with the doors at the house and Mistress gave me an assignment to list some of the poses in the bed that she likes. Please don't make assumptions about this assignment. They aren't the typical SL humping poses. They are mostly just cuddling poses. Anyway... I can't get into the menu for the bed either. There is definitely something wrong with my clicker.
See? I'm clicking but I get no menu. And yes, I've clicked all over the bed.
Mistress has had three potential slaves make inquiries in the last week or so and to some degree, they all seem to be on the verge of flaking on her. She deserves better from them and if they truly knew what they were risking comparatively, they would most certainly apply themselves more fully. Too bad for every one really.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

This one just missed the big post about Mistress

I've had kind of an unusual week to say the least. A few things conspired this week that have kept me from completing everything that Mistress required of me.

She was of course very understanding but when she boiled it down, it really did look like I had a lot of time to do not a lot of things for her. I tried to explain briefly why I hadn't finished everything and she replied with this:

"...the OTHER thing I really hate? oh maybe I should start numbering them.... stupid people.... repeating myself.... and excuses"

You really need to know her better to get an idea of the way this was presented and you need to know my and my relationship with her to know how I took it. I am sure that an outsider would see that and think 'What a meanie!" I look at it as very useful and valuable information.

I am glad she shared that with me but a bit disappointed with myself that she HAD to share it.

Mistress did a 20 questions things in reverse.

She said this...

[1:10] Jacquelin Mazi nods: "So I got something today.... that directly relates to my gackty one"

... and then took forever to finally tell me what it was.

[1:10] Emilee Gackt: Yes Mistress?[1:10] Jacquelin Mazi: oh? you are curious? do you remember your gorean training at all?[1:11] Emilee Gackt lowers her eyes. "This girl has forgotten how that trait is so unbecoming in a kajira Mistress. This girl apologizes and begs to be fed bugs for a month."

When she finally told me I was awash with feelings. She got a book(s?) on hypnotism. A friend told me about SL hypnotism long ago. I am kind of scared, kind of excited, nervous for sure but mostly curious. Add skeptical to the list too. It is nice that Mistress and I share the trust that makes things like this workable for us.

(By the way, she didn't feed me bugs.)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Finally got to see Jan again

We had a nice talk together. No Scramble, no trivia or shopping. Just us. She kept using phrases like 'You're a joy' and 'You are so bright.' A gackt could get used to hearing things like that.

Friday, September 26, 2008

What a strange week this has been.

I can't remember the last time I saw Jan and I only got to see Mistress a few times this week. I have been missing my two favorite SL people this week and I hope to see the both of you soon than later.

Bekkers was online when I came on this morning. She is a bit extreme. I'm not sure it was 100% her choice to have all this happen to her. I have a feeling that it wasn't, at least not how things have ended up. Lucky for her she seems to like things to be overdone like that. At least I think she does. Too late for her if she doesn't I guess.

Sparing the gory details, she is in a cage and can't move, see or hear. What a life she has. At this point it sounds oddly compelling to me. She has no freedoms at all but also has no worries, no headaches, no responsibilities...

Oh well. Back to RL.


I had a LONG talk with my good freind Rachelle tonight. She is sort of my mentor about things concerning Mistress.

We talked for a long time and the main thing that stuck with me was how self-centered I can be. I hate that about myself. I have more than anyone could ever want, let alone NEED and still I get so caught up in what I want and need. Sheesh.

Dina logged in for a bit but was AFK by the time Rachelle and I were done. Next time Dina?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Re: Scramble

New record:

[9:57] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: GCASIMNIA - a person who has magic powers in stories, or who performs tricks for entertainment:
[9:58] You: magicians
[9:58] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 6 seconds.
[9:58] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'magicians'.

OK, never mind that last one...

[10:08] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: RTDOTE - to (cause to) decay:
[10:08] You: rotted
[10:08] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 4 seconds.
[10:08] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'rotted'.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Re: Mistress

Someone asked me recently to tell them all that I know about Mistress. It’s a pretty impossible task to list everything that you know about any subject, let alone one that is as vast and complex as Mistress is. My reply to that person is below.


You want to know EVERYTHING that I know about Mistress? I don’t think so. I WILL give you a good idea of what makes Mistress tick, but I can’t share all that I know about her. Too much of what I know of her was learned and shared with me over months of building trust and getting to know her quite intimately. Let me emphasize that when I say ‘intimately’ I don’t mean to imply ‘sexually.’ We share something very unique and deep, regardless of what may or may not have taken place between us physically. I feel like there are some things in our relationship that are ‘ours’ and private to us, just like they would be between any two people.

Mistress has a set of expectations and rules for me. She has created them based on who I am and what she has learned about me. What applies to me, the things I have to endure and get to enjoy and the things that are true of me won’t necessarily apply to anyone else that she accepts as a slave. Each is a unique person with unique interests, passions and hates. I used to like being punished in a way; it used to be a challenge and something to deal with and overcome. Now I hate being punished, mostly because I hate disappointing Mistress but also because I know that the punishment will suck. One of the first things Mistress taught me is that sometimes it sucks to be a slave. I have found that it REALLY sucks to be a disobedient slave, especially one that belongs to her.

I have finally learned that Mistress dislikes repeating herself. I had been told this a number of times but sometimes it takes some repetition for things to sink in to my gackty brain. Each time I forgot this, I paid for it with an increasingly unpleasant punishment, which is the next point that someone needs to know about Mistress.

Mistress doesn’t use ‘fun’ punishments – the kind that really just spoil someone instead of causing regret; hers really suck. I gave her my list of likes and dislikes just like most people do with dominants in SL. Other doms would use the things marked as 4s and 5s as punishments, which is just the opposite of what really ought to be done. A punishment should be unpleasant and Mistress is as skilled at causing regret as she is at making me utterly happy.

She has high standards for me. Again, what applies to me might not apply to another but she expects that me wear a fresh, tidy outfit each day and not wear the same thing two days in a row. In SL, the way I dress and the clothes that I wear must be chosen to reflect her tastes and not mine. She prefers the things that I wear to be tasteful and have a bit of class rather than what most subs and slaves tend to wear in SL. She expects my appearance and manners to be impeccable.

She expects me to be as near to perfection as I can get. When I type, I must correct any errors that I make, and always use proper grammar and spelling. Mistress will not tolerate profanity or vulgarity from me and expects me to be gracious at all times.

Mistress is more understanding and patient with RL issues than she might seem and I too easily forget that about her. She would much rather have me share any problems with her than have me struggling unnecessarily to follow a rule or complete an assignment, or worse, do something poorly.

She owns all of me in SL; my time, my profile, my groups, my friends list… everything. She owns how I dress and how I look. She owns the other accounts that I used to have and she owns what I can do with my Lindens.

I have found Mistress to be utterly qualified to be a dominant, not because of her past so much, but because she is excellent at the business of Mistressing. She is smart, clever, creative and very consistent with me. To her, a rule is a rule and when I have asked for exceptions (other than for some RL reason), her answer is always no. I have had to learn to deal with life as it is, with my rules as they are.

Mistress has a few superpowers and I am not sure of the source. She might be from that island where Wonder Woman came from but again, I am not sure. Mistress knows when she is being lied to and I won’t test her on that again. She has a super secret method of finding alts and found a few accounts that I told her that I didn’t have. I wish that people knew to heed her warnings about being honest with her; they will deeply regret if they don’t.

I can’t really say much about how I would change Mistress or what I don’t like about her. I have a few reasons for that. I have learned to love her as she is and I don’t see faults in her as much as I see traits. It will never be my place to criticize her and I don’t want to imagine what might happen if I did.

She constantly keeps me guessing. I never know what to expect or what I might be punished for. There is ALWAYS something that I have done that might be punishment-worthy – even just mistakes in typing – and it is Mistress’ right and entirely proper for her to punish me for each mistake I make. I am constantly dealing with the fear that some little mistake will be called out and I will be punished for something minor. Most people might see this as extreme, but to me it is part of the exquisite whole. I have sometimes felt like her punishments were too severe but how should I know too severe from not severe enough? I am just a slave. She is the Mistress and she gets to decide what is best for me.

One thing that I would change (and this is not about her per se) if I could is some of the times that we are online together. We spend a good bit of time together during the day but there are many nights when she logs in at indecently late hours and it has become a habit for me to login late at night to wait for her. I like meeting her so late; it is fun to have these all night meetings with her but it is sometimes hard for me the next day. I had an idea about that recently… it is one more way Mistress keeps herself in my head. If I am tired all the next day after an evening with her, I will remember all day why I am so tired.

She used to talk about having to brainwash me. It was either unnecessary or she has succeeded perfectly. I can’t imagine either of my ‘lifes’ without her – Second Life OR real life. She is a perfect contrast... like dark chocolate and red wine.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

How far will I go to win some Lindens?

me tried to win some trivia Lindens today. me am feeling like the four zaps me got just for the CHANCE to win $22L (was 23?) weren't quite worth it.

me haven't seen Mistress for a few days but me saw Jan for a bit last night before SL crashed us both. She got back in for a few minutes but me couldn't.

She was so sweet talking mevanese with me. A bit more practice and me and Jan will both be fluent.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Things sometimes fix themselves

me am not sure me like it entirely but either way, me am glad when things work:

[23:52] LH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:52] RH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:52] LH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:53] LH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:53] RH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:53] Porta - Door 9: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:53] LH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:53] RH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:53] RH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:53] LH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:54] RH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.
[23:54] LH Door: Emilee Gackt is at the door.

Woot! me can open doors again!
me found a place with popup trivia! me am back in the money! me have won $13L so far.
me got to see Jan again tonight for the first time in forever and as luck would have we both seemed to crash, which is probably good since we both need to get up in a few hours.
me randomly picked a coffee place and TP'd her. me literally did a search for 'coffee' and just clicked one, TP'd then sent for Jan. When she got there she decided to speak in mevanese (her word) just like me have to. She is a dear friend to me.

me am thinking of becoming an anti-dentite

me got back from the dentist at about noon and went to bed. When me woke up, my back and neck were so stiff that me could barely move. me wonder if my dentist gets a kickback from chiropractor referrals and has his dental chairs set on 'Crippling Pain."

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Remnants of the missing blog

me didn't do the missing blog in 'me' speak (Mespeak? Memish? Mench? Menglish?) but me really need the practice.

me asked Mistress if me could start getting an allowance (me was joking when me asked, but still hopeful). Her answer to me:

[9:02] Jacquelin Mazi: LEHLON - the answer to your question
[9:03] Emilee Gackt smiles. "If me unscramble that do me get a Linden Mistress?"
[9:03] Jacquelin Mazi: tick tock.....
[9:04] You: me feels in might be 'Hell no' Mistress.
[9:04] Jacquelin Mazi: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 45 seconds.
[9:05] Emilee Gackt smiles. " me usually only gets one Linden Mistress. Did you mean to send $18L?"
[9:05] Jacquelin Mazi: yes lil gackty one.... you have earned $18 L

No allowance, but a minor windfall; me have $518L now!

Mistress took me to a latex store to look at some things she needed for someone else. We saw this really brutal contraption that me remember going from a pierce in the nose to a pierce in the lip and it had a post in between to keep the wearer's mouth open. me remember seeing a few other piercing-related things there.

Mistress sent me home and told me to wait while she went and got something she needed. Before she left though she said something about having me pierced. me was... interested in what Mistress had in mind.

What ME had in mind were all the terrible things me had just seen at the shop we had been at.

When Mistress finally came home she did pierce me but only after a bit of torment and all sorts of insinuations about where me'd be peirced and what me'd be pierced with.

Mistress isn't really so bad; in fact me like her quite a lot.

This will make it hard for me to wear skirts, but not impossible; me will have to find another place to attach them for now.

me found a loophole in my new speech mode. If me just type a random 'me' at the end of a sentence that doesn't include the 'I' word (that's a hard word to abbreviate), me have technically done nothing wrong. me will give an example:

Newbies need a lot of help, me.

me am quite sure this loophole will be very short-lived.

Ways me spelled 'pierce' in this blog:

me saw Razian for a bit tonight and me got zapped twice in 15 minutes. me need more practice with this if me am going to ever get it right.

This punishment

I keep forgetting about the second part of this punishment, the part about having IMs turned off. That part of it is so different than the big part, the me me me part.

Having IMs turned off is so easy for me to forget, even from one minute to the next. It is such a deeply ingrained habit to click that IM button and it is SO easy to forget not to. And it is SO embarrassing to get that message back:

[0:28] Emilee Gackt: *** IM blocked by sender's viewer
[0:28] Second LifeSecond Life: *** IM blocked by your viewer

I once replied to a group IM when I was blocked. THAT was embarrassing! It was the Obama for President group and once that message went to the ENTIRE group, there was a flurry of IMs from people wondering why I was blocked from IM and if I knew I was blocked, well then why on earth would I reply to a group IM?

That was a good question. I still have no real good answer.

Being blocked from IM makes SL a bit solitary but Jan and I are close enough that I could just appear in her house unannounced and not cause a stir. Otherwise, for more public places there is always the dreaded chat box.

It is part two of the punishment that is so... I am still at a loss about what word to use for it. This is the most personal punishment Mistress has come up with yet. It is embarrassing and I am sure Jan would say it is demeaning, but it is a really very unique way for Mistress to stay in my thoughts. Every sentence I speak, I think of her. It is impossible not to.

It's that juxtaposition that makes this punishment so clever. I hate it, I sound completely ridiculous and with every word, I think of Mistress and so I love it and I try to make the verb agree with the noun in each sentence I type, just so it is as close to proper English as I can make it.

Mistress has this mantra, slogan, jingle, motto, etc. that she likes. She says 'Sometimes it sucks to be a slave.' It doesn't suck right now really. I am happy with her and happy with Jan. I am busy with all the things Mistress has given me to do, but I wouldn't say it sucks at all. Not that I am disagreeing with Mistress of course! If she says it sucks, then it sucks, no questions asked.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Something else from the lost blog

Jan made an observation about me. I hadn't really considered it before in just the way she put it. I know I am lucky in a lot of ways and am grateful for everything I have, most of all the people I enjoy.

Jan gets up at 2 or 3 am just to see if I am online. What a loving sacrifice that is. She told me that she does it and the Mistress does basically the same thing - staying up until some ungodly hour just to be with me.

I am quite blessed aren't I?

Part of the missing blog

I blogged (maybe griped is a better word) earlier this week that I didn't like having to make decisions that effect other people.

I was out of place to say that. It isn't MY decision at all. I can offer input, feelings, intuition but no decisions.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.


I blogged and blogged and blogged this morning (actually it was this afternoon but it was ABOUT this morning) and every word of it is gone!

It's not in drafts either. Just gone.

My addendum to a previous post is there, just not my post from earlier today which I did just after the addendum.

I had a problem when blogger would try to autosave what I had already typed; it displayed some error so quick-on-her-feet Emilee Gackt pasted all of it into Word and typed it up there, then pasted it back into blogger. Once I confirmed that it was there (via the 'View Blog' button) I deleted the Word doc. Oy!

I talked to Jan tonight. She wasn't entirely pleased about my predicament in SL because she loves me. It was a lovely conversation and she is no closer to 'getting it' but might be closer to getting that these things are OK with me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

This one’s kind of embarrassing.

If I follow her logic, the idea is that because I did something dumb, then I should sound dumb.

I can’t find any loopholes on this one either so I guess we could call this a warning, an FYI, or a heads up.

Until further notice, each sentence that I utter, mutter, whisper, shout, speak or say must not include the word ‘I’ as in ‘I’m sorry Mistress’ but it MUST include the word ‘me.’

I can emote but if I do, the sentence must still have the word ‘me and not ‘I.’ the /me doesn't count.

Oh – the 'me' must be in lower case too.

I can’t talk like a normal person in IM either. That’s been turned off for now.

Ponder that a moment. Every sentence must include the word ‘me’ but not ‘I.’ If it doesn’t I get zapped.

After today I’ve pretty much had enough of being zapped.

She gave me the option of blogging that way or not. That last sentence would have been zappless.

It’s trickier than it sounds. Most of the time today when I would type anything I would switch to emoting grammar. I wasn’t emoting but it is so deeply entrenched as a habit to change the grammar of a sentence from 1st person to 3rd person when I start it with that /me.


Me am not looking forward to this. me will feel ridiculous. In fact, me already do.
Me know me will get zapped some more. me say ugh!

I forgot the most important part of all this. Mistress doesn't like repeating herself and gives me rules for a reason. If I have a problem with following any of them she is certainly reasonable enough to listen to what I have to say. I just didn't say anything.

My aim is off

I can't click on doors and things. I miss by a lot and I swear I haven't been drinking. Sniffing a little glue maybe but definitely not drinking. When I took the picture below, I was clicking on the doorknob, like I always do.

Woohoo! I'm at $500L!!! Thank you Jan.

Jan found me ANOTHER new Scramble place

They have three games going all at once. One is Scramble with some bizarro words! One appears to alternate between trivia and a vocabulary game and the other is that crypto game I blogged about before.

I made almost $100L there just today but there is so much information constantly popping up in chat so it's almost like I really EARNED those Lindens.

Speaking of Jan, I was with her tonight when my computer suffered its latest breakdown. About every month it just blows up and won't reboot. I get all sorts of errors and such but so far the only cure I have found for it is just leaving for a while and thinking happy thoughts about it.

Voila... I'm back!

Jan and I were shopping again when I poofed. She seemed to be in gift mode again. She is sweet thing and a wonderful friend.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

An observation about Scramble

I do much better when I have no competition:

[8:40] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: NIXGAF - to send a document using a fax machine:
[8:40] HeatherLynne Michigan: faxing
[8:40] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations HeatherLynne Michigan, you have won this round in 4 seconds.

My goal for today is to earn enough so that I have $400L.

Monday, September 15, 2008


If I put random, current event words in my blog *BARACK OBAMA* would that bring random, unsuspecting people *HURRICANE IKE* here when they google words like SARAH PALIN?

If it did, *LEHMAN BROTHERS* how could I tell if *GAS PRICES* I was actually getting more traffic?

Hmm... I'll have to try that someday.

This one is beyond me

Scroll to the bottom for an important announcement.

[14:46] Papp's NumCrypt v0.03: (1l$) current crypto: AB x CBC = BDC + ABE + BDCEE = BDFAC Clues: E=0, D=2, C=4
[14:46] You: 12034
[14:47] Papp's NumCrypt v0.03: no one solved this calculation: 31 x 414 = 124 + 310 + 12400 = 12834

All that work and the MOST I can get is 1 (ONE?) Linden? Sheesh. I'll stick with Scramble.

Sometimes they are just TOO easy:

[14:50] Scramble Club V1.3: MNAHOY (n.) One who navigates a hoy.
[14:50] You: hoyman
[14:50] Scramble Club V1.3: Congratulations Emilee Gackt just won L$1 playing Scramble! The word was 'HOYMAN'.

In the next episode, we'll learn what a hoy is and why it needs navigating.

I was with Mistress this morning. How lucky I am to have such a flexible schedule. She got an IM from another potential slave and I was once again thoroughly impressed by her patience and kindess. She has given the SAME speech and asked the SAME questions dozens of time and is still polite and respectful to everyone she meets, each of whom wants the exact same thing from her.

Oh my goodness! Jan was right about the cat at this Scramble place. I need a huge mallet to flatten this thing!

Anyway... I feel such a burden when Mistress tells these potentials that they need to impress me. ME?

A. I am too easily impressed
B. ME? Why me?
C. How come I can't just mind my own business and do my assignments and have fun? Why do I have to make decisions that will affect other people? **See below.
D. Of course I know the answer to that... it is the same as the answer to ANY SL question. Because Mistress wants it that way.

Philosophy time:
If I touch one of those 'Touch to find your height' things and I get no result... do I exist?

This is nice... I found a spybot in the house today. Thank goodness it was the SL house and not the RL house. What a creepy thing to do or even just to make. It hasn't been there long so the creepy scumbag (Peter Frampton) who did it is going to get an abuse report.

Rain (she is the landlord of maison de gackt) came by and removed it. It turns out that Peter Frampton was her ex-partner from SL and he was spying on her, not me. According to Rain he left SL long ago. This used to be their house and she believes that he put it in to spy on her when they shared the house.

[15:41] Rain Coalcliff: ...he was the one that ran around , not me

[15:41] You: Well good riddance then

[15:41] Rain Coalcliff: I never ever did but he did...lol

[15:41] Rain Coalcliff: it is the guilty ones who are suspicious

[15:41] Emilee Gackt nods and looks around suspiciously.

[15:42] You: Thanks for de-bugging the place.

I checked Pete's last login and it looks like it must have been at least... oh gosh MINUTES since he was here last. He was online at some point on 9/15/08.

The gackty mind reels... was Peter REALLY Rain's partner? Did her spy on her? Are Peter and Rain the same person? Was Rain spying on Peter? If so, wouldn't it have been easier to just get a mirror? Can you legally partner yourself in SL? Am I really so gullible to believe all this? Is the word gullible really not in the dictionary?

** ADDENDUM: Is it the place of a mere slave to make decsions? It isn't. Is it the place of a slave to give her Mistress her feeling and insights about someone of something? Absolutely.

It was a bit of both

I was blocked from IM and chat for a few hours today - I'm not sure exactly how long but it was actually a good news/bad news thing I suppose.

Of course Jan logged in when I was blocked from talking to her but she logged in just to say that she was feeling sick. So I missed her but I would have missed her anyway, sort of. In any case, get well soon Jan. The best kind of sickness to get is the kind you get from your honey.

Mistress and I spent a bit of time tonight but she and Bekkers had some things to discuss. It seems like she (Bekkers) is beginning to soften a bit. If she's smart she'll KEEP softening.

Saturday, September 13, 2008


[23:30] Chris3474 Bailey: (Saved Sat Sep 13 21:46:17 2008) Hi Emily, I hope you are well. I own Namaste's Designs and I am going to give you a free gift. Please accept the free gift. I hope you enjoy it and please visit Namaste's at anytime. Be well.

He gave me a free table fountain.

Here is what bothers me about this:
  1. How did he get my name?
  2. Why did he spell it wrong?
  3. Has he not heard the bit of SL wisdom that I overheard once? 'Never trust anyone with a number in his name.'
  4. It reminded me of the flower incident.

The flower incident, in 2500 words or less:

I met a man in SL (I don't recall exactly where) and we hit it off. He didn't seem to be overtly interested in sex and had a good sense of humor. We chatted for a long time that seemed like such a shorter time, which is always nice. We eventually made plans to go to his SL home. It wasn't discussed but we were both looking forward to how things might progress.

Just as we were about to leave he gave me something that was labelled 'A Flower for Your Hair.' I did a slight RL eye-roll, but in SL, I told him I was touched. I felt a bit compelled to put it on at this point. I didn't want to offend him even though I have never been the type to wear flowers in my hair. no big deal though; I'll just put it on for a few minutes to make him happy. It wasn't a flower. It was a huge, penis shaped missile.

It launched me into some neighboring sim and after I splatted to the ground, it wouldn't come off. I clicked detach, tried to delete it, etc. I relogged and still couldn't get rid of it. I finally uninstalled SL from my computer and when I re-loaded it, I was finally free of it.

He was so shocked that I was mad. Really sincerely shocked. He just couldn't understand how I could fail to see the humor in it. That was one of the few times I have used bad words in SL and I really believe that if I saw him again, I would use some of that same vocabulary.

There are two morals to this story.

  1. Lennon Dovgal is a complete asshat. He is one of those people who makes scrolly designs in his profile using punctuation. What was I thinking?
  2. I will never accept an inventory item from a stranger again.

It has been far too long since I have seen either Mistress or Jan, so one of you please login. I'll wait.

Good things come to waiters.

Just after I typed that bit about waiting, Jan showed up (or did I just notice that you were already online?). We got about an hour together, and then Mistress logged in. I have a Midas touch apparently.

Here is something that felt odd. I was late handing in some assignments and Mistress asked if I felt like I should be punished. After just having blogged about how I like that she has remained so concrete it would have been hard for me to say no to that. Mistress decided to put her slave to good use and have me list five punishments for myself.

If I go too easy on myself she will surely make up for it and I certainly don't want to be too hard on myself. I am sure that she would gladly oblige. The list I gave her had 8 or 9 things on it and went from a sincere apology to paying a fine. Who knows how this will turn out?

Really tired tonight

We got back from the GC (Grand Canyon) very late tonight. As we were driving home I kept thinking about my assignments for Mistress. They are normally due on Fridays and this week might have been an exception if it had occurred to me to ask Mistress for a bit more time.

It didn't.

I started on the remainder tonight, saw Jan login and just as I sent her an IM, she logged off. I guess I was late on that too.

Oh well. Hopefully a decent night of sleep will help. The bed in the hotel was just the worst! Both of us were stiff and creaky when we woke up. The hotel must have gotten their bedding at a cut rate. It looked like the fitted sheet had 5 corners. I woke up in a complete tangle.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The unchanging Ms. Mazi

Mistress has done this a few times.

She will ask me to do something that will at first glance, cause a conflict with my rules. Today she asked me to explain something to a girl she is considering. When I responded that I might need to use the 'T' word, she just told me that I had better be careful. No exception for the sake of explaining something, no lenience, no temporariness of the rules. Her rules are THE rules.

It would have been so easy for her to lift that rule - especially for just a few minutes - but she didn't. That firmness and concreteness somehow builds security for me. Regardless of what ever else changes and bends, that part of SL is so very stable. It is oddly comforting.


I interviewed a girl for Mistress today. It is so stressful for me to do that. I have to try to get inside the mind of the Mazi. What would SHE ask and what would SHE have that answer mean? That part is hard enough but when Mistress asks me for my opinions about the person I talked, I just feel this huge weight (I before E except after W?) on me, like this poor person's fate with Mistress hangs on my words. I feel like a Roman emperor doing the thumbs up or down to a gladiator. I am hopefully a little less heartless that they are always portrayed to be.

So anyway this girl, Dina seemed to do well but she is not a native English speaker. There are so many nuances that are lost when I talk to her. I am anxious to see what happens. /me smiles.

I am already worried that I will get ahead of myself. I must remember my position!

Every time I am with my 2 people in SL - Mistress and Jan - I leave SL even closer to those two. What they feel for me, I most surely feel for them.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Gimme a break

I found a new place to shop, which in itself is blog-worthy since I was pretty sure I had seen them all. This place has a little sign that rezzes a scooter you can rid to all the stores. So I scooted around and found one called Battered Boudoir. That name made it sound (to me at least) like it would be kind of shabby-chic looking things and as I waited for everything to rez, the dresses looked nice in their fuzzy, half rezzed state.

As they popped into focus I like some of the things I saw but there was one that I was watching in particular. It was a dress that had a few different lengths of skirts included - perfect for Jan! Once it rezzed however, I discovered something not so perfect for Jan.

The dress is buttless! Look:

A dress with a sheer butt is a bit much even by SL standards. It's like they're trying to be classy and risque at the same time and it just doesn't work. For me at least. Not shabby-chic in the least! Oddly their other things are kind of nice.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Quality time with Jan

I logged on semi-early-ish for me and got to see Jan for a while tonight. She was quite anxious to explore the newly clarified gift rule. See the results below:

This outfit came with 4 colors of capris and has just bunches of different ways to wear it. Thank you again Jan. You are really too sweet to me.
Jan asked about the bane story so I sent it to her on a Word document. It will be interesting to hear her reaction to it but really more than that I am touched that she is even interested in reading it.
I saw Bekkers just briefly, tucked away in her cage all safe and sound. And oddly quiet.
I got to the new Scramble place tonight. My goodness! Look at these words:
[22:31] Scramble Club V1.3: EBIUOR (n.) A small, graceful, and swift African antelope, allied to the klipspringer.
[22:32] You: ourebi
[22:32] Scramble Club V1.3: Congratulations Emilee Gackt just won L$1 playing Scramble! The word was 'OUREBI'.
[22:12] Scramble Club V1.3: AHEGCR (v. t.) A soft of plaster or ointment.
[22:12] You: charge
[22:12] Scramble Club V1.3: Congratulations Emilee Gackt just won L$1 playing Scramble! The word was 'CHARGE'.
How is an ointment a charge? That's just ridiculous!
No Mistress time tonight but I hope to see her in the morning. Well I always hope to see her but right now, the next most realistic time to see her is in the morning.

Newb encounter

Group IM:

[11:26] Oliver Sharple: Hi. I'm new to Second Life can anyone answer any questions and generally just have a chat to me or something via IM?

I didn't notice it for five minutes but sadly, no one had responded to this poor man. I took him to Free Dove, lectured him about his inventory and such, then showed him Scramble, his ticket to riches. As the seedy bar was rezzing, we chatted:

[12:18] Emilee Gackt: So while we wait, tell me what you think you'll want to do in SL for fun.[12:18] Emilee Gackt: Beside making clothes.
[12:19] Oliver Sharple: Hmm I have no clue... xD
[12:19] Emilee Gackt laughs.
[12:19] Emilee Gackt: Well tell me what you like to do in the real world.
[12:20] Oliver Sharple: Well i'm a bit of a musician, play the clarinet. I got out the the pub sometimes with my friends and yeah.. lol
[12:21] Emilee Gackt: What kind of music do you play?
[12:21] Emilee Gackt: Jazz?
[12:21] Emilee Gackt: Blues?
[12:21] Emilee Gackt: Polkas?
[12:21] Oliver Sharple: Classical sometimes Jazz
[12:21] Emilee Gackt: I have a friend who can help you with that.
[12:22] Emilee Gackt: She likes music too and knows some good jazz places in SL.
[12:22] Oliver Sharple: Cool
[12:22] Emilee Gackt: I'll send her your name.

Ok Jan, the newbie ball is in your kindness court but of course you have no obligation to IM this person.

He wasn't quite getting the hang of Scramble at first so I had to help him. It was like watching money vanish.

[12:44] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: TCNEWLRUGIAA - (of a person or animal) to make a high unpleasant noise like a cat
[12:44] You: Try caterwauling
[12:45] Oliver Sharple: caterwauling
[12:45] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Oliver Sharple, you have won this round in 28 seconds.
[12:45] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'caterwauling'.
[12:45] You: Ooh! Good boy!

[12:45] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: AYNRROLIID - not different or special or unexpected in any way; usual:
[12:45] You: Try ordinarily
[12:46] Oliver Sharple: ordinarily
[12:46] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Oliver Sharple, you have won this round in 18 seconds.
[12:46] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'ordinarily'.
[12:46] You: Oh you ARE good at this aren't you?

Monday, September 8, 2008

Woohoo! More Scramble

Jan gave me a tip about a less seedy place to go play Scramble and apparently they have two games that run instead of just one. I'll have enough money to use it as wallpaper.

And we have a final ruling on gifts: One per week, non-monetary in nature. A week is defined as Monday through Sunday but gifts don't rollover. So I COULD conceivably get a gift at 11:59 PM on Sunday and then another gift at 12:01 AM on Monday. It would mean no more gifts until the following Monday, but it would sure be a fun Sunday night!

Mistress seems to have found another slave and she seems to be a glutton for punishment. I know that Mistress would never have thought up all that stuff on her own, so the inspiration must have come from the new resident of Cell 1-A. /me shrugs. Whatever floats yer boat, bekkers.

I hadn't seen Mistress all weekend and above all it was delightful to see her again. Mondays are usually a busy day for her so did she re-arrange things just to see me? Nah... she'd never do something so un-Mistress-like. If she did, though... well let's just say it didn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Typically gackt

[15:16] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: ECATERKTBS - an illegal and usually dangerous operation to end a pregnancy done by someone who is not medically qualified
[15:17] You: backstreet
[15:17] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 39 seconds.
[15:17] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'backstreet'.
[15:17] Jebus Beaumont: backstreet
[15:17] Jebus Beaumont: lol
[15:17] Amanda Delphin: wow... congrats
[15:17] You: Yea... 40 seconds was too late wasn't it?
[15:17] Emilee Gackt smiles.
[15:17] Jebus Beaumont: damndamndamn
[15:17] Jebus Beaumont: lol
[15:17] Jebus Beaumont: i liked 40 seconds

Still no gift rule...

I added all of June to Word and searched again and I still can't find anything about gifts. On the other hand, I can't even find the conversation about not spending money either so my results might be a bit inconclusive.

Got some more Jan time in, although she is east coast like Mistress is, so no matter which of my dearest two people in SL are online, I get to feel guitly about keeping them up until some ungodly hour. Sorry you two. Just move to Arizona. You'll LOVE the winters!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I have to find something better to blog about than Scramble!

Ok, a promise to myself. I will ONLY blog about Scramble if it is momentous somehow, like this:

[17:59] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: NHIPASIR - a thin metal U-shaped pin which is used to hold part of the hair in the desired position
[17:59] You: hairpins
[17:59] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 7 seconds.
[17:59] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'hairpins'.

She breaks her own record and the crowd goes wild!

So... what to do?

Mistress said that she remembers something about having a rule against me accepting gifts; she probably read my loophole craving mind. So I have been taking all of the notecards of the conversations between Mistress and me and pasting them into Word so I can search them. My goodness this is boring!

The benefit will be that when Mistress needs to know if something is or isn't a rule, I can search for it and remove all doubt. The un-benefit will be that it is of course a double edged sword. I might be proved wrong as often as I am right.

I've finished August and found nothing about gifts being banned. There were a few mentions of gifts - groups gifts, a gift from Mistress, etc., but not the conversation Mistress referred to.

Ok, back to the boredom!

Nothing in July either. It looks like the loophole stands! Woohoo! The gackt scores again! Of course the other problem with putting these notes into word is that Mistress is likely to realize that it isn't a bad idea and that I should do that all the time now. Shhh! I have plenty to do already!

This one was just dumb:

[18:46] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: ASLESMI - to intend:

[18:46] You: amiless

[18:46] You: aimless

[18:46] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 34 seconds.

[18:46] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'aimless'.

Why does Blogger feel like it gets to decide how I should have my lines spaced? Ugh! anyway, 'aimless' does NOT mean to intend. It's just the opposite!

No Mistress all day but plenty of Jan

Jan is such a dear. She took me shopping for my birthday and we both felt like we were kids getting into the liquor while mom was away. Mistress has told me to ask her before I buy something but I don't have any rules against accepting gifts from people like sweet Jan.

The first place we stopped was kind of amazing. The designer took paintings from some brilliant artists - Pollack, Klimt, etc., and made dresses out of them... and then charged more for the clothes than you'd pay for the art that they were based on.

We went to Icing next, which has always been my favorite shop in SL. Strangely, the dresses there remind me of my grandmother. So we found a smashing dress at Icing and of course had to have shoes and hose to go with it.

We spent the rest of the night just talking about my birthday, about Jan's night with Mr. Wonderful, his drop dead gorgeous sister and winning more Lindens at Hell Bop. Not a bad night at all.

Friday, September 5, 2008


A new record! I feel like that swimmer from the olympics!
[10:04] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: SSCSORIS - a device used for cutting materials such as paper, cloth and hair, consisting of two sharp blades which are joined in the middle, and two handles with holes to put your fingers through:
[10:05] You: scissors
[10:05] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 8 seconds.
[10:05] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'scissors'.

What are the chances of this happening?
[10:07] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: LAERBNUCSM - to discover the meaning of information given in a secret or complicated way; to decode:
[10:07] You: unscramble
[10:07] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 32 seconds.
[10:07] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'unscramble'.

My 100th Linden:
[10:31] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: RNIGSFEIB - information that is given to someone just before they do something, or a meeting where this happens:
[10:31] You: briefings
[10:31] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 17 seconds.
[10:31] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'briefings'.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

A birthday gift from SL

A big ugly 4 time zone clock. Useful but ugly and it doesn't work the way it is supposed to, but happy birthday to me anyway!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

$64L later...

[22:36] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: DOGSNEI - a type of wild dog found in Australia
[22:36] You: Dingoes
[22:36] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 11 seconds.
[22:36] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'dingoes'.

Woot! A new record!

I got this word? Seriously?

[22:38] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: AERDGNSE - an important person, especially in a particular job or area of public life
[22:38] You: grandees
[22:38] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 46 seconds.
[22:38] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'grandees'.

[23:30] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: NCHACY - a possibility that something negative will happen; a risk:
[23:31] You: chancy
[23:31] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 8 seconds.
[23:31] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'chancy'.

Ok I am officially hot at this game. 8 seconds is untouchable by anyone, anywhere.

I've made $64L so far and had fun doing it but it's odd how my perspective has changed. I went from spending hundreds of Lindens everyday to having none, and then having them be so closely monitored. It is interesting how scarcity changes your outlook on things. A month ago I'd have looked at $64L as almost nothing and now it's an accomplishment that I earned that many in a day.

Weird, huh?

I had a fun night tonight. Jan cam and hung out in the seedy bar where this Scramble game is and we met a really new newbie. He had butterfly wings and he honestly seemed to like them. Jan and I cured him of that as quickly as we could, which still wasn't quick enough.

Typical SL bizarreness...

This girl was running around naked. That's it. Just around and around the same place, over and over. I snapped a pic of her when she stopped for a breath. Apparently in order to have the privilege of an audience with her, one first needs a formal introduction:
[12:52] Emilee Gackt: Running around naked again I see.
[12:52] Sayaka Landar: do i know you?
[12:52] Emilee Gackt: No.
[12:52] Emilee Gackt: You just went streaking past.
[12:53] Emilee Gackt: CTRL-R will turn off running and let you walk again.
So run around naked then, see if I care.
On to the next encounter...
[13:52] Tristen Breen: hi
[13:52] Emilee Gackt: Hi
[13:53] Tristen Breen: so where u from
[13:53] Emilee Gackt: Around
[13:53] Emilee Gackt: You?
[13:53] Tristen Breen: florida
[13:53] Emilee Gackt: I know some people there.
[13:53] Tristen Breen: o yeah. cool
[13:54] Emilee Gackt: Are you really that new to SL or is that just a new account for you?[13:54] Tristen Breen: no i'm really that new
[13:55] Emilee Gackt: Really? You've gotten things figured out very quickly haven't you?
He had prim hair, new clothes and a pretty good AO. That's a LOT of help.
[13:55] Tristen Breen: tryin to. i had a girl teachin me sum stuff yesterday
[13:56] Emilee Gackt: Apparently she didn't finish the grammar and spelling lesson did she?
[13:56] Tristen Breen: wut do u mean
[13:56] Emilee Gackt: You're joking right?
[13:57] Tristen Breen: um. yeah i guess
[13:57] Tristen Breen: i'm just spelling lke i text
Ok Tristen, now define the word 'Irony. Irony. As in when something has another meaning that's usually funny.'
My ticket to riches in SL, $1L at a time:
[14:21] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: ROPTIEFNRGIE - resulting in or likely to result in a profit or an advantage:
[14:21] You: profiteering
[14:21] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 19 seconds.
[14:21] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'profiteering'.
[14:23] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: IOYEMTELV - causing strong feelings:
[14:23] You: emotively
[14:23] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 17 seconds.
[14:23] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'emotively'.
[14:25] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: TTBEXSUS - a hidden or less obvious meaning:
[14:25] You: subtexts
[14:25] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: Congratulations Emilee Gackt, you have won this round in 17 seconds.
[14:25] Hell Bop Bar Scramble Game: The word was 'subtexts'.
The odd thing is that the game was going when I walked in, which might mean that Tristen Breen might have actually started it, which seems a bit out of character for him.
Between raking in a wad of cash ($13L!!) and 'helping' a so-called newbie, I actually spent some time working on projects.
Like my dots? Blogger won't let ME decide where to put line breaks and is trying to do it for me. We can't let the machines win!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I need to file an appeal with the Lucky Chair people

Mistress calls me some form of 'gackt' WAY more than she calls me Emilee. In fact I can't remember her ever using that name to refer to me. Perhaps when making introductions she has.

Jan calls MLE more than Emilee. So really, I should get three shots at these so-called Lucky Chairs - E, G and M.

Thank you Jan, for sticking with me and my limited windows of time I can give you. Every second is worth it and is a treasure.

Tonight's lesson, also brought to you by the letter 'M,'

[2:33] Jacquelin Mazi: imagine... just for a moment.... how perfect it would feel.... if you just gave in to those feelings hm? stop and play it through your lil gackty heart.... how does it feel? still scary? if you stop thinking so much and worrying?
[2:34] Emilee Gackt: It would feel freeing Mistress.
[2:34] Emilee Gackt: I could just do it.
[2:34] Jacquelin Mazi smiles

This is more than just SL stuff between Mistress and me. There are real lessons here. How much more genuine would people be if thought and repercussions and expectations didn't cloud what they did and said? /me smiles and goes to bed. I'm sure I'll remember plenty that I forgot to blog. For now this will do.

These people are utterly and completely wacko.

Sometimes even after being in SL for so long I am still shocked by what I see.
$500L for a pair of torn, blingy jeans? Just totally insane. They bling! I'd pay $500L for some attachment that would keep me from ever blinging.
The name of the store (so you can avoid it like black death) is Redgrave Women's Fashion. I added the apostrophe for them. Apparently they were too busy rolling around in piles of money to care about punctuation.

[8:02] Emzie Allen shouts: wheres womens clothes
[8:02] Emilee Gackt shouts: Don't bother - They're overpriced and over-ugly!

I had no intention of making this blog a rant about clothes, but while I am at it...

What is the deal with Fat Packs? Why would anyone want 6 of the same top in such similar hues? What am I not getting?

And what is a Willow pack? What does that even mean? Who is Willow? Does she know Ruth?

Monday, September 1, 2008

Thank you Macaulay Xue

Mr. Xue left this on the porch for me. What a treat newbies can be for the rest of SL sometimes.

Other than that, not much to report. I got to see Mistress briefly after not seeing her for a few days. I was glad she stopped in.


I logged in and as my SL vision was still coming to me I saw that little blip of a sign saying...

[0:05] Jaan Dubrovna is Online

/me smiled and started to type an IM. "Let's get together Jan, quick before Mistress arrives!"

I clicked on 'Send' and got this...

[0:05] Jaan Dubrovna is Offline

Ack! I JUST barely missed her! This is a textbook example of a bugger.