I am sure that even my mild alexithymia has nothing to do with how difficult it is to express sympathy. That is something that will always be difficult, no matter what. It isn't so much that I don't feel pain along with someone I care about; it is more that I don't know how to show properly. I spent the first third of my life being told that what ever I felt was wrong so having to show and share my feelings with someone in pain is a challenge for me. Thank you again mom.

I guess it is hard in part because there is so little that I can do and partly because no matter what, I really don't what she is going through. I can say that I understand and such but really, everyone experiences loss in their own way because the one they loved was theirs in their own way. I say that I understand because it is better than awkward silence but really, the pain and loss is unique and sad.

I guess I hate that there is so little that can really be done. "I understand, let me know if I can help" is all so trite but what else is there? How can I help really? Nothing can make things better but do helpless offers of help make things less worse? Or just make me feel like I'm doing what I can? The pain that death brings has a very high suck factor indeed.