Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Fearful and hesitant

I don't want to let myself believe that I got closer to it today because I don't want a setback. I want to belong to Mistress utterly but to admit that I do has such frightful implications.
  • She would truly control what I do
  • She would tell me when to do it, who with and so on
  • I really would have only the ability to act and react, no thinking - just pure 'me'
  • Mistress would own every part of me in SL
  • REALLY truly own it

It is hard to let someone in that deeply. Actually it HAS been hard and now it seems more like sliding down a steep hill. I have this idea of what is at the bottom but something tells me that when I land in a messy heap that it will be different than what I imagined.

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