My goodness I'm tired right now.
All I have in SL is the ability to obey. I can't not obey.
It's funny that when this idea occurred to me I really felt that I had no choice but to obey. In my head, all I had was this idea that I have no choice, that I don't own the ability to disobey any more.
It didn't occur to me that it is a choice for a few minutes. I logged in and began typing then realized that it is a choice. I guess if my first reaction - my instinct? - was that I don't have a choice but to obey then that is what is in my heart. Right?
Such a seemingly simple thought but it has filled my head in the absence of anything else to do or consider. It is good news, it is a little scary, it is a bit embarrassing.
From the start Mistress talked about brainwashing. That seems like such an odious term but the concept behind it is turning out to be more accurate than I'd have guessed.