Re: My blog

I wrote half this post and tried to paste it into Word and lost the whole thing. Gackty is not amused. Here is my second attempt.

Mistress: “Your blog is for ME to see your feelings and reactions to things we do and say... AND to other things you do and say when I am not here”

I hate that I need reminders sometimes and I know that Mistress does too. Some of what she wants me to blog is private, between Mistress and I and it is hard to make things that are so meaningful fit into a public facing blog.

I like it when I see something that I have finally gotten into my head make sense. One of the things that Mistress does is to give people writing assignments, usually 500 words. Most people are so put off by it, like it is just insurmountable and hopeless but that is where not thinking is so important. The more you try to think of what to write, the less words will come. If you just write, the words flow like wine.

That was a beautiful sentence wasn’t it? I believe I’ll say that again.

The words flow like wine.

Jan was online but so was Mistress. Jan was, as usual, understanding about things and logged off but the fact that she got up at 3 am just to see me is amazing. I am sure that I could count friends as dear as she is on one finger.

I watched Mistress and bekkers some more tonight. It is interesting to see her slowly crumbling and how powerful a dangling carrot can be.

Mistress and I did our first hypno-experiment tonight. It is strange how that works and how powerful a simple suggestion can be. The whole time I was overwhelmed with emotion. I felt such care and trust from Mistress. Odd that I didn’t really process how much I trust her until it was over. It seems like it worked, by the way.

I am always so happy when I find that people enjoy who I am. I feel so giddy almost every time I read Jan’s blog. Tonight Mistress made me feel the same way. She was very Mistressy about it of course but I was deeply touched.

We heard from Dina finally tonight. I have to confess that I had her on my mind when I wrote that bit above about the writing assignments. She is struggling to get to 500 and she has been working for over a week. 500 words is only a page. I don’t know what the essay was supposed to be about but it is a simple process. If it about Mistress, start with her. How do you see her, how do you want to be seen by her? How have you been viewed by others? What do you hope to get from a relationship with her? How will you know when you get there? I could go on and on. It is in the heart, not the head. It takes some time to retrain your pen not to listen to the brain and start listening to the heart.

505 words in about 15 minutes. See Dina? Unplug your brain and listen to your emotions. It’s easy.