[15:01] Emilee Gackt: No
[15:02] rachelle Binder: you can just TELL from her reactions how she feels?
[15:02] Emilee Gackt: Right.
[15:02] rachelle Binder nods pausing a long moment letting all that sink in before speaking again
Lucy has an advantage here in that she isn't expected to speak. All she has to do is wag her tail or hide between her legs. I have this huge mess of emotion and history and issues to sort out every time I have to decide how I feel.
[15:04] rachelle Binder: she doesn't even talk and you can read her reactions and know how she feels
[15:04] rachelle Binder: she isn't smart
[15:04] rachelle Binder: she doesn't make important decisions in life
[15:05] rachelle Binder: she must obey you or be punished
[15:05] rachelle Binder: she makes you happy just being there
[15:05] rachelle Binder: and she takes care of you
[15:05] rachelle Binder: and you take care of her
[15:05] Emilee Gackt: Yes
[15:05] rachelle Binder: freaky huh
She gave me a lot to digest, intellectually speaking. Of course we talked for quite a while so there was ample opportunity.
[15:13] rachelle Binder: let me ask you this
[15:13] rachelle Binder: if you were going to punish Lucy and she rebelled and panicked and freaked out and like maybe growled or bit you.... would you be MORE upset?
[15:13] Emilee Gackt: Yes
[15:13] rachelle Binder: verrrrry important lesson there sweets!
................... is what Rachelle's brain does when it is burning and is what my brain is doing right now.
[15:54] rachelle Binder: heres the ..... deal sweets.... or your dilemma.... for whatever i know[15:54] rachelle Binder: you ache to serve and please...
[15:54] rachelle Binder: its so deeply in you[15:54] rachelle Binder: from your RL
[15:54] rachelle Binder: but
[15:54] rachelle Binder: the problem is....
[15:54] rachelle Binder: you go to SL and realize you can do what you want when you want[15:54] rachelle Binder: so when Someone pushes you....
[15:55] rachelle Binder: you instantly shut off that ache and return to hiding your feelings and rebelling
This is just amazing. She boiled this down in a few lines of text and I've been trying to unravel it for years. Literally years.
[16:50] rachelle Binder: the moral is
[16:50] rachelle Binder: it can ALWAYS be worse
[16:50] rachelle Binder: and if complaining will not work
[16:50] rachelle Binder: then isn't it best to endure and try to accept?
If I have half a brain, I will read and re-read this post until I have it memorized. Of course, only having half a brain might explain why my head is always tilted.
I've been missing Mistress and Jan fiercely and it's my fault. I apologize to you both as sincerely as I possibly can.
I lost my Internet connection at about midnight my time and the automated voice response thing at Cox was absolutely no help at all. I moved some plugs around pretty randomly and seem to be back online but Blogger has taken this opportunity to mess the line spacing again.
Cox will be here between 10 and noon tomorrow to hopefully fix this once and for all and probably charge me a bunch of outrageous fees.