Wednesday, July 16, 2008



Something I have done in the past in SL has created a phenomenon in my current SL. I had more than one account in the past. More than two even. Way more than anyone could ever need in fact. I want so much to have Mistress trust me but she is reasonably concerned about me going back to my old ways - if things were a challenge for me it was so easy just to start from scratch. I've had enough of that. This is me now and all I am in SL. Mistress thought I was on SL on yet another alt and we spent a good bit of time talking about it.

I am still feeling the hurt from what I did in the past and I am sure others are too. Tonight, when Mistress was just at the height of her 'inquiries' (that sounds so much nicer than 'interrogation') Jaan sent me an IM. Mistress had turned off my IMs so that we'd have an uninterrupted conversation and it just figures that just as we were getting things clarified, Jaan logged off.

Jaan... I am really sorry. I'm not avoiding you. I'm sure your new home is wonderful and I have been dying to take you shopping for a housewarming gift. PLEASE forgive me!?!

Another odd phenomenon is that something as stifling as a hush can seem so intimate to me. It is so strangely compelling to wonder what she is doing while I am shushed. She'll ask for some random bit of information and then shush me again. Then I'll see those sparkles around my avatar and goodness knows what they might mean Mistress is doing.

Control like Mistress gives it can be so comforting or safe or relaxing... something close to those things. But it also means that I can never know what is next; I am always on the edge of my seat.

/me whispers,"Don't tell her I am blogging while I am shushed!"

I had an idea about that actually. If I keep the blog open while I am in SL I can make notes to myself every time something blog-worthy happens and then go back later and blog it up with more detail later. Why didn't I realize what a good idea this is a long time ago?

Mistress saw someone - Mellisa Fargis - that shared so many things in common with me that it is no wonder that she thought I had created another account. She and I dress the same, type with the same style, have a similar sense of humor and on and on. Now I want to meet this person - anyone who is that much like me must be wonderful!

So who is the Melissa person? By the way I am almost certain I have misspelled her name here. Her name wasn't changed to protect the innocent. It was changed because I spelled it wrong. Here are my theories about her:
  • She is *shudders!* circus people. She'll be gone when the tent gets rolled up and the load the giraffes on the train.
  • She works at a Circle K (that's like a 7-11 only with no numbers in the name) and uses the work computer to login to SL.
  • She is a soccer mom and logs in when the kids are at school.
  • She saw me somewhere (most likely she remembers me from when I was in the Spice Girls and no, I WASN'T Old Spice!) and liked what she saw and did some borrowing and copying.
  • She is just herself and we share some remarkable coincidences.

Mistress and I finally (!) finished (almost) the picture project! Woohoo! (almost).

And this keyboard is driving me nutso. The shift buttons stick and sometimes random letters don't work. What a bugger!

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