Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Re: Mistress

Someone asked me recently to tell them all that I know about Mistress. It’s a pretty impossible task to list everything that you know about any subject, let alone one that is as vast and complex as Mistress is. My reply to that person is below.


You want to know EVERYTHING that I know about Mistress? I don’t think so. I WILL give you a good idea of what makes Mistress tick, but I can’t share all that I know about her. Too much of what I know of her was learned and shared with me over months of building trust and getting to know her quite intimately. Let me emphasize that when I say ‘intimately’ I don’t mean to imply ‘sexually.’ We share something very unique and deep, regardless of what may or may not have taken place between us physically. I feel like there are some things in our relationship that are ‘ours’ and private to us, just like they would be between any two people.

Mistress has a set of expectations and rules for me. She has created them based on who I am and what she has learned about me. What applies to me, the things I have to endure and get to enjoy and the things that are true of me won’t necessarily apply to anyone else that she accepts as a slave. Each is a unique person with unique interests, passions and hates. I used to like being punished in a way; it used to be a challenge and something to deal with and overcome. Now I hate being punished, mostly because I hate disappointing Mistress but also because I know that the punishment will suck. One of the first things Mistress taught me is that sometimes it sucks to be a slave. I have found that it REALLY sucks to be a disobedient slave, especially one that belongs to her.

I have finally learned that Mistress dislikes repeating herself. I had been told this a number of times but sometimes it takes some repetition for things to sink in to my gackty brain. Each time I forgot this, I paid for it with an increasingly unpleasant punishment, which is the next point that someone needs to know about Mistress.

Mistress doesn’t use ‘fun’ punishments – the kind that really just spoil someone instead of causing regret; hers really suck. I gave her my list of likes and dislikes just like most people do with dominants in SL. Other doms would use the things marked as 4s and 5s as punishments, which is just the opposite of what really ought to be done. A punishment should be unpleasant and Mistress is as skilled at causing regret as she is at making me utterly happy.

She has high standards for me. Again, what applies to me might not apply to another but she expects that me wear a fresh, tidy outfit each day and not wear the same thing two days in a row. In SL, the way I dress and the clothes that I wear must be chosen to reflect her tastes and not mine. She prefers the things that I wear to be tasteful and have a bit of class rather than what most subs and slaves tend to wear in SL. She expects my appearance and manners to be impeccable.

She expects me to be as near to perfection as I can get. When I type, I must correct any errors that I make, and always use proper grammar and spelling. Mistress will not tolerate profanity or vulgarity from me and expects me to be gracious at all times.

Mistress is more understanding and patient with RL issues than she might seem and I too easily forget that about her. She would much rather have me share any problems with her than have me struggling unnecessarily to follow a rule or complete an assignment, or worse, do something poorly.

She owns all of me in SL; my time, my profile, my groups, my friends list… everything. She owns how I dress and how I look. She owns the other accounts that I used to have and she owns what I can do with my Lindens.

I have found Mistress to be utterly qualified to be a dominant, not because of her past so much, but because she is excellent at the business of Mistressing. She is smart, clever, creative and very consistent with me. To her, a rule is a rule and when I have asked for exceptions (other than for some RL reason), her answer is always no. I have had to learn to deal with life as it is, with my rules as they are.

Mistress has a few superpowers and I am not sure of the source. She might be from that island where Wonder Woman came from but again, I am not sure. Mistress knows when she is being lied to and I won’t test her on that again. She has a super secret method of finding alts and found a few accounts that I told her that I didn’t have. I wish that people knew to heed her warnings about being honest with her; they will deeply regret if they don’t.

I can’t really say much about how I would change Mistress or what I don’t like about her. I have a few reasons for that. I have learned to love her as she is and I don’t see faults in her as much as I see traits. It will never be my place to criticize her and I don’t want to imagine what might happen if I did.

She constantly keeps me guessing. I never know what to expect or what I might be punished for. There is ALWAYS something that I have done that might be punishment-worthy – even just mistakes in typing – and it is Mistress’ right and entirely proper for her to punish me for each mistake I make. I am constantly dealing with the fear that some little mistake will be called out and I will be punished for something minor. Most people might see this as extreme, but to me it is part of the exquisite whole. I have sometimes felt like her punishments were too severe but how should I know too severe from not severe enough? I am just a slave. She is the Mistress and she gets to decide what is best for me.

One thing that I would change (and this is not about her per se) if I could is some of the times that we are online together. We spend a good bit of time together during the day but there are many nights when she logs in at indecently late hours and it has become a habit for me to login late at night to wait for her. I like meeting her so late; it is fun to have these all night meetings with her but it is sometimes hard for me the next day. I had an idea about that recently… it is one more way Mistress keeps herself in my head. If I am tired all the next day after an evening with her, I will remember all day why I am so tired.

She used to talk about having to brainwash me. It was either unnecessary or she has succeeded perfectly. I can’t imagine either of my ‘lifes’ without her – Second Life OR real life. She is a perfect contrast... like dark chocolate and red wine.

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