Got to see Jan, didn't get to see Mistress.

Wow... last night it was Jan and tonight it was Mistress. I had the mouse almost on the 'X' and was nearly gone when Mistress logged in. In fact I had already started my blog - hence the title. Yea that's right. I said 'hence.'

Note to self: Wait a few more minutes to see the people you love.

This is out of context and it is easy to add lots of meaning to it that isn't there, especially Mistress' first sentence:

[2:04] Jacquelin Mazi: but you did make me proud a few times even still
[2:04] Emilee Gackt smiles happily.
[2:04] Emilee Gackt: That is what I want most Mistress.

This is what it is about for me in SL. This is my goal here and with such a 'real' Mistress, this is an important thing for me. It's not about feeling warm and happy that I made someone proud; it is about having accomplished it. Having learned what it takes to please her, then finding it in myself to do it.

Mistress apologized to me tonight. Twice. Not for anything she had done to me; just the casual kind that comes up in conversation sometimes. She is showing me these little courtesies and I am as nervous as I am thrilled.

It makes me more comfortable to see these things from her but I can't forget my place.