Mistress was in mid-interrogation when I logged in. Some little waif of a thing landed on the porch looking for a home. She had an utterly odd concoction of a story about some imaginary friend and a housing agreement. Mistress Has this ‘way’ about her that is uncannily magnetic to me.
As this girl came unraveled I just watched Mistress and (this sounds so corny) bubbled with pride. This smart, well-spoken, direct, determined Mistress peeled away layer after layer of this creature and the girl was just oblivious. It was a joy to watch Mistress predict and decipher this girl’s (that sounded so Gorean – not ME – I mean this girl who appeared on the porch) story and I was nearly giddy that even though Mistress has seen my worst, she kept me.
I felt that so strongly all night. Giddy happiness. It is as if I finally found what SL had for me.
I got my dog collar today. It is the kind you use to shock a dog for bad behavior. Mistress used it on me. A few times because I was stupid and few times because she loves me. It hurt bitterly. ‘I think.’ Zap. Blinding pain and tiny, reflexive breaths. ‘I think.’ Zap. The same. ‘I think.’ Zap. The same, this time with tears. How odd that I knew hiw it would hurt and with each jolt I felt her care and love and help. She was so tender.
Gor is so far away and so long ago. Mistress asked me to serve her a drink and it was as if I never got any Gor training at all. All the emoting Rachelle did for me just vanished and I did this lame, newbie serve. I am not to think and I keep thinking that if I were allowed to think I’d think of the things I’ve been taught, which is not to think.
Mistress is a patient, patient woman and I am a lucky, lucky one.