Tuesday, June 10, 2008

House hunting, among other things

My goodness it's hard to find a house in SL. They're all either so alike or so primmy! Modern with a great room and a loft or 400+ prims. I think the best way to go is to find a prefabbed house on an existing lot.

I spent another day with Mistress trying to get everything just so and didn't think (or even say it) once. It was odd to me that she was being so meticulous about something that can be changed so readily but who am I to question why? It became clear last night during a visit to Jina. When I first saw her she reminded me of my Banishment processor and when she started using words like 'process' I was quite apprehensive.

I suppose much worse things could have happened; she (somehow) made the brand Mistress gave me a permanent part of my skin - not just a layer of clothing but a permanent part of the skin. The brand of course is a whole 'nuther story.

If I was the Mistress I'm not sure how I'd go about branding a slave. I could tell her when and where and let her fret about it for days or I could do like Mistress did and just have it be a surprise. It was quite a surprise. I had no idea that it was coming and when we had finished with Jina, all these pieces seemed to fall into place; Mistress has a plan and I have no clue what's coming next.

It's a tricky thing about having a brand or being branded. It's so much more personal than just a collar. It's an excruciating, humiliating process and a demeaning thing to have to wear and now it's permanent. If she had asked if I'd be branded I'd have said yes (and meant it) and it would still have been everything I just described; the fact that she didn't ask just makes it more so.

She showed me how my new chastity belt works today. It's odd not knowing what she'll change or lock onto me from one day to the next and of course she knows that and knows that it will keep me in a constant state of minor upheaval. Anyway, the belt is permanent apparently and is more than just effective. It's a portable little punishment machine. I'm sure she'll get lots of enjoyment from it.

It's funny (not funny haha, but more like funny ironic) how the things you 'ask' for come back to haunt you. I put a 5 next to chastity belts on a list of preferences I had given Mistress. I liked the idea of something that intimate being so thoroughly controlled. Not only is it controlled but it is used as a torment. I have to confess (now that I've had time to think on it) that all this diaper business was really a request. I am beginning to miss the tenderness of people who are gone now and I think that this was an attempt to replace them. It started out innocently but soon evolved into me trying to sneak something in and now it's just an utter embarrassment. Sadly, it seems likely that I'll probably do the same thing to her again and she'll let me and I'll regret that too.

So my face has been changed (to HER preferences, not mine), my skin has been permanently branded and to 'help it heal' she's locked me in big capsule, which means of course that I can't even see the new me and I’m locked in until she comes back., at which point I’ll probably be locked in some more.

Another odd thing occurred to me. This woman treats me horribly, welds a collar to my neck, brands me like an animal, mocks me, embarrasses me in front of crowds of strangers and so on and when I am not with her, I absolutely crave more time with her.

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