i recently blogged about needing a lag free zone in SL (don't laugh; Mistress assures me that they do exist). A day or so later i got this IM:
[2009/05/31 0:07] Izo Pakula: (Saved Sat May 30 12:59:14 2009) Hello, our place is, I think, not too laggy, and you're almost never online at the same time as us. If you need a non laggy place, tell me and i'll send you a LM of the house (and I'll set the alarm of :-))
This really was a very thoughtful gesture. Welcoming Mistress and i into her (Izo's) home completely alone... what an amazing level of trust Izo has. On the other hand... it isn't like i:
- WOULD do anything there that would be inappropriate or...
- even COULD if i wanted to
Still, it was a very nice thing of her to offer.
Mistress decided that i needed to be gagged tonight. i don't exactly remember why, just that She felt the need. So for a good part of our time together, all i could do was emote (or just blubber out nonsense in chat). After one of my first attempts at an emote She gave me this critique:
[9:02] Jacquelin Mazi: it was a poor emote.... we do not read your thoughts[9:02] Jacquelin Mazi: we don't know what you 'realize'[9:02] Jacquelin Mazi: we only see reactions[9:02] Jacquelin Mazi: nothing more
Very true. But up until now She has worked so hard on getting at what is in my head that it seemed almost natural the way i put whatever i had said. So... two sets of emoting rules:
- One for every day emoting and...
- One for gagged emoting
Izo sent me an IM while i was gagged:
[9:21] Izo Pakula: :-) It's a holiday in France tomorrow, who knows, we might at one point be online at the same time[9:21] Emilee Gackt: *** IM blocked by sender's viewer
[9:22] Izo Pakula laughs and thinks indeed: sometimes it sucks to be a slave ;-)[9:22] Emilee Gackt: *** IM blocked by sender's viewer
She is a clever one isn't she? Clever and kind and French even. Mistress asked me to make sure that Izo knows that she may contact and even befriend Mistress if her Master would allow it.
When i TP'd Desire, i was trying to be proactive and helpful. That was slight... hmm... misinterpretation?
[10:04] Jacquelin Mazi: I appreciate that you felt you would use common sense and try to please me.... a few bonus points for that....[10:04] Jacquelin Mazi: however[10:05] Jacquelin Mazi: this particular type of action was wrong[10:05] Jacquelin Mazi: if it involved you doing something FOR me... I appreciate it.. but... if it involves you doing something for me with or around other people? be VERY careful
It is oddly appealing that things are so difficult with Mistress sometimes. Just being with Her in casual situations is a challenge (in a good way) but sometimes i get so nervous with Her that i feel like i deprive Her of some parts of me. i want to make Her laugh just like i do with Jan and my other friends but i get so wrapped up in so much else that parts of me just whither sometimes.