Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I am very tired tonight but I told Mistress I'd be here. I like making sacrifices for her and feeling the effects of it.

Long ago - in September - Mistress got an IM from a girl who named herself 'Tapegirl.' She had the most absurd profile. No... absurd isn't right and just sounds mean. It was so far fetched though but Mistress gave her a fair conversation and, as the saying goes, gave her enough rope to hang herself with. She (Tapegirl) and I had a few conversations and I could just tell that this girl would flake on us. Call it intuition, instinct, cynicism...

Mistress is so fair to people to give people like Tapegirl a chance at serving such a strong Mistress. In my mind people like her are - this is going to sound SO elitist - not worthy of Mistress and her time and attention. Of course that assumes I AM worthy and there are so many problems with that...
  • Assuming is a form of the T word which I've been forbidden to do or to use
  • Who am I to decide if I am worthy of her time and attention?
  • Who was I to decide that Tapegirl was not worthy?
  • Who am I to decide who Mistress should spend time on?
  • So on and so on...

I told Mistress about the Christmas gifts at Ivalde. For some reason I am not as disappointed at what she said as I expected I would be. It is fun to get new things but part of the fun is to have someone to share them with and Mistress doesn't much care for skirts, so that just leaves Jan and the fun of going to get free stuff. Mistress said that I can do that vicariously through Jan, which is fine for me, at least for now. Maybe I am just too tired to be disappointed or maybe I am finally starting to get it.

1 comment:

Jaan Dubrovna said...

Hi sweetie! I emailed you a link to a song I thought you might like. Really cute.

Jan smiles