Friday, February 20, 2009

Becoming a robot

Lately i have been having much the same idea, concept, feeling (oh how i wish i could use the T-word sometimes). Lately i have been very aware of belonging to Mistress and i am concerned that the ways that i express that will become monotonous and sound automatic.

I don't feel the way i must sound.

i am exploring different ways that She owns me in SL and often that is expressed the same way for the different pieces of me that She owns. She owns my wardrobe and i tell Her that i am glad to be able to have clothes - that they are a gift from Her. She owns where i go and what i do and i tell Her that i am happy to go where She lets me go. i want to give her fresh, fun ways for Her to own me and not sound so robotic. i'll be working on that.

A key will be really focusing on feeling emotions and expressing them more creatively. There is a huge temptation to take shortcuts though, since most of what i type in SL is typed with Mistress waiting for a reply. i no doubt err on the side of brevity too often.

How much control does She have over me? She owns my inventory, my Lindens and so much more and yet i asked for Her to take more. Her response was entirely enigmatic and was no doubt planned to be. i am still wondering how much control She has over me in SL and even in RL. How much of what She causes me to experience there spills over into the real world where i DO have enough attach points?

Mistress dressed me in latex tonight and we went shopping for 'turture' machines. This was unusual for us to do. I haven’t worn latex for ages (other than that awful suit) and these machines all seemed to be beneath Mistress somehow. They all looked the same after a while and the descriptions of what they do that pop up in chat had misspellings. One of them described something about beginning the 'turture.'

Mistress reminded me later about the 3 things that make SL work. Animations, yes (which would include these silly machines) but add to that some imagination and some well written text and SL all of a sudden becomes a powerful place, or at least has the potential to.

So why the trip to the neighborhood turture shop? Is She planning something that i would rather not know about? That is probably always true.

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