It is with regret that I announce that my recent epiphanies vis-à-vis Mistress have made me possessive of her. Territorial even.
For so long Mistress has churned through so many prospective slaves and all the while I've been eager for her to find success. I looked forward to another perspective and maybe someone to compare myself to as a gauge of progress, good or bad.
I feel like I've reached a plateau with Mistress and that we share something personal. Now a third will rock my world.
I hate that phrase.
I hate that I am being selfish and I hate that I can't just let it work itself out inside me. I don't want people to know this about me and I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable because of me. Of all people.
I hate this post because it I have no choice in typing it. I simply must because Mistress demands to know my feelings. My feelings are selfishness and shame that I am selfish. Regret maybe.
The old me would have stifled this long enough for it to boil away. The me that Mistress truly owns won't let the old me do her stifling. The me that Mistress owns trusts Mistress and will not withhold that from her.
Another consideration: Being a slaveholder will hurt Mistress' chances at ever holding an elected office.
We talked about what slavery means today. I said this:
A slave has has no choice and no options. Less than human but more than animal, it has no rights and what it owns, it owns as a gift from it's owner.
Mistress said that I was mostly right but that even what a slave has been given, it doesn't really own.
A slave has no rights, remember? Not even to property.
She had me change it and replace the word slave with Emilee Gackt. It was shocking how personal that made it to me:
Emilee Gackt has no choice and no options. Less than human but more than animal, Emilee Gackt has no rights and what it owns, it owns as a gift from it's owner.
So if I add her input it would be:
Emilee Gackt has no choice and no options. Less than human but more than animal, Emilee Gackt has no rights and owns nothing but enjoys many gifts from her owner.
I was glad to get some time with her. It kind of recharged me somehow.