Monday, March 9, 2009

Catching up

i hope i don't forget anything. i've been so busy and preoccupied lately that my poor blog hasn't gotten the attention it deserves (or that Mistress requires).
  • Mistress has me watching a TV show. When She first told me about it i was kind of perturbed since i have never really been a big TV fan but this show is actually not bad. i might even say it was good if that wasn't so counter to what i've always thought about TV. The show is Lie to Me and it is about a company that specializes in reading people's body language to determine whether they are telling the truth. They make a lot of comparisons to famous people who have been caught lying and mostly it is pretty compelling so far. Mistress compared Herself to the character on the show but mentioned Her ability to spot a lie in a string of text as opposed to body language. That almost seems like an entirely different skill to me. Related but different.
  • The tie in with me for the TV show is that since i now need to emote before everything i say in SL, she will be watching those emotes very carefully. In a way i like that Mistress is so watchful. It makes me feel wanted and oddly, sort of protected.
  • Rather than trying to adjust to US hours again for only a few weeks, i've decided to work nights (and stay on Manila time) which is starting to mean that they are giving me work during the day and night from two continents at once. i am almost looking forward to going back at this point just so i will have less work to do.
  • i made a spelling error in an essay i did for Mistress. i got one letter wrong in one word. i typed 'whoch' instead of 'which' as i recall. This is going to sound cruel and extreme but it falls into that strange category of things in my life that i hate as much as i crave. Mistress had me beg Her to zap me as a punishment for the spelling error. i hate begging mostly because i feel like i am so bad at it. i have blogged before that i hate to beg. i have no conception of what that is like - to need something so desperately that it needs to be begged for. i hate it for that reason alone but add to that the fact that it is humiliating and demeaning and i am being forced to beg for something that really, honestly hurts. i have to beg earnestly (since Mistress can spot a lie in a string of text) and i am rewarded with a zap in the neck. This time though She had me count the zaps (which is never a good sign - more than one is awful!) and when i messed up the count (at three as i remember) she started again at zero. In total i remember seven zaps for getting one letter wrong. if i could go back and fix the error... i believe that i wouldn't. Something about having Her treat me like that is intimate. Knowing that She enjoys it and it is something i can give to Her... i sometimes feel like i just don't get it myself but it is something that is sort of fundamental to me at this point. Weird, huh?

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