Friday, May 23, 2008

Today?

Mistress allowed me the choice of the two bane suits - either the Marine Kelley suit or the other. What I read and researched about the two suits said that Marine's is far more difficult to endure and is more likely to extend the original sentence, sometimes excessively.

What is it about me that made me choose Marine's suit? I love a challenge, but when I was interviewed at K-tech, the technician tried to talk me out of it. I had second thoughts myself but Mistress was very decisive:

[19:21] Emilee Gackt thinks again for a longish moment. "Must I be bane Mistress? Perhaps I've learned enough of it by reading the story."

[19:22] Jacquelin Mazi: your fate is sealed..... perhaps that is overly dramatic.... but true... I don't care what you want... it will be a good lesson for you...... it will not be discussed again.... understood?

Maybe it is that I have grown so accustomed to having the best; Marine’s suit seems ‘better’ somehow. It’s just a vague feeling but compaing the two makes me think that far more thought went into her suit.

True, it will be a good lesson for me, but a lesson in what? My guess is that it will mostly be a lesson in 'be careful what you wish for.' I've never been so filled with dread and anticipation at the same time. Minutes are dragging by and each time the IM chime rings my heart stops for a moment. Is it finally time already? It occurred to me that time in the suit can't be as bad as waiting for the suit. Once I am in the suit, I'll at least have nothing to fear, but I'll still have something to look forward to. I also just realized that I'll be bald when I am released. How long after banishment will that last?

Bleuzy's 24 hour sentence grew to 180 hours. Why was she not more careful? That poor girl. She said the suit is a bit less sensitive now, but even if I get just half the extension she did, I'll still be bane for 90 hours! She was so kind when she interviewed me; I understand why she was so business-like at times. Will it be her to process me? Will she be as kind then as she was when we met?

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