Wednesday, May 21, 2008

To bane or not to bane

When I am with you Mistress I feel a sense of accomplishment, a bit of pride and of course loads of nerves. Your expectations were maddening at first; now they seem a refreshing challenge. These bloody essays are driving me quite insane and yet I've never had someone make such demands of my time and my intellect and thoughts. Gor was never like this. All this challenge and work load heightens my sense of accomplishment.

When you logged off I was at a bit of a loss; I felt such a burden of so many things to do that I almost didn’t know where to begin. I got a little organized first (saved a notecard of our conversation) then logged off and took care of a few details for work coordinating some training from two of our vendors and looked into the blog. It seemed remarkably easy; so easy that I wondered what I might be doing wrong.

When I logged back I printed the portion of the notecard that had the assignments and then oddly spent a few minutes looking for furniture. It had occurred to me that I mentioned that I would find some furniture for the apartment and I didn’t want to forget that so I just got it done, although the apartment is still more empty than full.

I then did some looking around at bane suits and the two different banishment options in SL. I saw a vendor selling the Shelley suit and I saw a few of the Marine Kelley banes at her facility. Goodness how solitary they looked! There were two women and a man.

I felt that I really needed to begin working more earnestly on completing my assignments. Thank goodness Mr. Gackt is out of town so I don’t have to sacrifice time with him to complete things.

Friday is my day of banishment. In two days I become bane, after which I will be yours, but how long until I can be yours Mistress? How long will I be bane? When will I be me again and become yours? Will I like one over the other? Will I want to stay bane or will I hate it?

I am finding myself a bit stressed; not since I was trained in Gor did I have this much homework to prepare. Even then, I had nowhere near this much to do, it wasn't anywhere near as personal as this is becoming and it came at a much slower pace.

This blogging is so odd Mistress. The essays were so personal and between you and I; this feels so... public! Am I writing to you or to the Internet?

The suits pose a dilemma for me. I have no first hand experience with either suit and from what I can tell, there is an application process for the Marine Kelley suit. Does that make that suit no longer an option? The other is readily available, cheaper up front (not that cost is an issue really), but those are just as negative as they are positive; there is some exclusivity to Marine's suit that the other lacks. That 'mystique' and the fact that it is said to be more challenging make Marine's suit my first choice. Then I think about the application... if there is a delay will I settle for my second choice or will I wait (quite impatiently) for Marine's?

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