Saturday, July 4, 2009

Emilee Gackt sighs...

i got busy with a fun day off yesterday just after i logged off of SL. We went shopping, browsing, did a lot of hanging out, found some time for nap, went swimming, ate watermelon in the pool... it was a really fun day. The one thing it was missing was my blog entry from yesterday when i was with Mistress.

i really hate typing lines. REALLY REALLY hate typing lines. i should quite complaining though since one of my very few blog followers has to do her lines by hand. Ack!

Anyway, i'll probably start typing my lines even before Mistress tells me to start. That kind of lessens the shame and embarrassment somehow. Like 'Yes, i know i forgot my first and most basic rule but i am already taking steps to prevent it happening again."

So here it is, a day late from yesterday:

As Mistress was reading Her emails and other things, she said to me "Go make some tea." i literally started to get up in RL and go make some iced tea. It took me a moment to realize how unusual that would be and thank goodness i had the sense not to ask Her. i 'made' Her a cup of tea* in SL using emotes. She has always been a better emoter than i am and so when She asks me to do things like this i always feel self-conscious about it.

Mistress says things sometimes that boggle me. Since i am forbidden to think am i supposed to just accept what She says as fact or can i dig a little deeper to consider what She is getting at and how she means things?

[8:00] Jacquelin Mazi: you are a child... out of control... needing discipline... guidance.. structure... and Someone to watch over you

Am i really that bad? Out of control? That makes it sound like i am so... out of control. So i asked Her and She said:

[8:03] Jacquelin Mazi: consider... how many times I have needed to punish you in the past year or so... consider all the things you would be doing if you did not have me to put a 'short leash' on you... and there lil gackty one.. is your answer... *taps your nose to accent her statement*

i view myself as usually pretty good, sometimes not so bad and She views me as out of control. i guess that gives me some incentive to improve.

i am STILL trying to figure out the RLV problem with the invisible subfolders. i have one thing in mind to try but one of the challenges i face with it is that i need Mistress to test what i try to see if it worked so it will be slow progress until i find the solution.

Despite all the challenges, my time with Mistress is so many things to me. It is the most stressful, annoying, and challenging few hours of my week and it is so compelling that once i log off after seeing Mistress i am already looking forward to seeing Her again. i sometimes worry that i put a burden on Her by feeling that way but there are two problems with that:
  • It is thinking
  • She wants me to feel that way

*Note to self: Mistress likes Earl Gray.


Lotofquestions said...

Mmmh... I imagine my imput is maybe ridiculous, but in my experience, the RLV files that were disapearing were labeled with long names. Once I shortened the titles, they apeared again. One more time maybe it's not the problem at all, and my brain starts emptying fast when I see any discussion about technology :-)

Emilee Gackt said...

Thanks for the input! At this point i am anxious for ANY advice at all.