Thursday, October 8, 2009

i never would have guessed this.

[17:50] Suzi Zaytsev: (Saved Wed Oct 07 03:53:16 2009) sorry emilee, but Miss Kim sold me yesterday

What odd timing this is for me. About a week ago Mistress 'sold' me to a mutual friend and i was just engulfed in so many different feelings about it.

*Where the heck is the bullet point button in Blogger!?!*

i guess i'll just make my own bullet points. i felt...
- saddened
- disappointed on Mistress' behalf that the best She could manage to do with me is to get rid of me
- happy that really She was keeping me
- scared of a few things. That i was really going to have a new owner, that i really was just property to someone.

When it all ended and i still belonged to Mistress, i felt somehow deflated. Over the hour or so that Mistress and the friend negotiated for me, i resigned myself to a new and scary future and when i realized i would return to my safe, familiar existence, i honestly felt some disappointment and i still hate that i felt that.

And now suzi was sold and in her case, i know for a fact that it was for real. i am as jealous as i was disappointed but on the other hand, if she knew the Mistress i have and what happens between us, it would be suzi feeling those same things.

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