The Manila Daily Star

(Click to enlarge if you REALLY REALLY care about my day to day, hour by hour existence in the 'Pines).

We are not a codfish.

i blogged last time about Ivalde being closed and Izo sent me an IM about a place called Zaara. Was a great place! The designs are so intricate and as well done as i have seen in SL. Almost as good as a Dubrovna. The clothes are great but i was honestly more impressed by the design and lighting effects of the building. It is really amazing.

Do i have another fan? Maybe 'fan' is too strong a word but it is exciting to see that people actually read this blog. i got a very thoughtful comment from someone named 'Lotsofquestions' and i appreciate the Your words very much. i've seen just what You described happen to others and i am as careful as You are.

Mistress had me sit with my mouth open today in SL and RL. Just hanging wide open. It was an odd feeling sitting there typing looking like i was in the van Gogh painting of the screamer. Was that van Gogh or Munch? Maybe i looked more like a fish with my big mouth just hanging open like that. Anyway... that feeling never really passed (it changed a bit after a while until i really felt kind of silly) but eventually it was accompanied by an ache in my jaws and a combination of a dry mouth and a puddle of drool around my tongue. Very odd feeling indeed.

Mistress gave me a mini lesson today and i have no doubt she knew that it would make an impression. i get the idea that She leaves very little to chance. She had me move to a spot next to the chair where She usually sits and then She had me move back to my usual spot:

[1:07] Jacquelin Mazi nods pointing in front of her again.
[1:08] Emilee Gackt scooches back to her normal place...
[1:08] Jacquelin Mazi smiles proudly
[1:09] Jacquelin Mazi: such a good girl... I say this because speaking is not necessary... a well trained slave knows what her Owner likes... and how to read non-verbal commands easily....

i have to admit that this was either just as Mistress said it was or that i just got lucky one more time. i am honestly sure which. i knew that i needed to scooch back over but i am not really sure why i didn't toss in a 'Yes Mistress' in there somewhere. It just seemed right not to somehow... which maybe means that i AM learning and that all the times that Mistress has said "Don't think, just act and react" that She actually knew what She was talking about.

Today in SL:

People in SL can be really very nice sometimes. First Izo and now Chili have offered to open their (less laggy) homes to Mistress and me:

[0:34] Chili Theas: (Saved Wed Jun 03 08:21:07 2009) It's not much, but the door is always open and the (mainland) sim is usually lag-free

Mistress and ellery finally had a conversation and from what Mistress shared with me, it looks promising for ellery and Mistress. They had a confrontation free conversation and ellery wasn't scared off like so many in the past have been.

It would be really interesting if Mistress ever did find another that met Her high standards. i sometimes feel like She keeps me only because i am the best She has found so far. If She took on another, i would have an instant friend but also probably find myself raising my own standards for myself in a very subconscious way.

Looking back at how all of my rules have been assigned to me and evolved over time it would be very interesting for me to see what Mistress assigns to another.

my attempt at making SL a better place to be spammed:

[7:32] raulvlc78 Diesel: hi, sorry for disturb, we open a new megashop, with excellents designers of sl, agnes finney, house of alysa, slc, B&G, virtual impresions, emporio and much more designers, if you are interested said me and pass you a note, with designers and your clothings and landmark of shop, more thx for read, have a nice day :)

i sent him my edited version:

Hi there, sorry for the interruption. We are opening a new megashop with work by some of SL's most excellent designers like Agnes Finney, House of Alysa, SLC, B&G, Virtual Impressions, Emporio and many more. If you are interested, please IM me and I will pass you a note with a complete list of the designers, a landmark and much more. Thanks for reading and have a nice day!

raulvlc78's reply:

[2009/06/04 7:41] raulvlc78 Diesel: lol all here is spam, y try no disturb more, no pass anything any direction, but always make spam hehe

i need to choose my battles more carefully i guess.

Mistress trusted me with $110L to start up my group and in a moment of generosity, She gave me an extra $190L and told me to get something nice.

• It is funny how perspective changes; i used to feel impoverished if i had less than $10,000L in my account and now that i have $190L to have fun with, i feel like a Rockefeller.
• In the past i would have immediately gone to Icing or Ivalde (which i had heard is now closed) but now i feel like i should buy something for 'Her' in a way. Something for me to wear from a place that i know She likes.

emilee gackt takes no responsibility for line spacing errors caused by Blogger. It simply isn't my fault.

"you may speak freely"

Mistress was having a bad week and one of the first things She told me tonight was this:

[7:01] Jacquelin Mazi: Unless I ask for more, I only want yes or no from you right now.... I have had a bad week and I will not hesitate to take it out on you... you did not know so I will not punish you this time...

Simple enough instruction, right? Well then why did i mess it up about 4 times? Sheesh! Just before She left, She lifted my speech restriction:

[7:35] Jacquelin Mazi nods: "you may speak freely again.... stay out of trouble...

What a relief! i can speak freely as long as i emote before each sentence, show proper respect and of course, use my approved punctuation.

Reminder: My 'You can see when i am online' box has been unchecked for every one on my list at the instruction of Mistress Jacquelin Mazi.

What Mistress has me doing and how i feel about it...

Mistress dips into RL sometimes but whenever She does, she always moves with great care and concern. Seeing Her navigate between RL and SL is seeing Her at Her most skilled and compassionate moments and although it is sometimes a trial, i am always grateful for it.

Even now.

Mistress has given me a goal by next weekend:

• Jog for 20 minutes (consecutive minutes and actual jogging - no power walking)
• 50 tummy crunchers
• 25 push ups

i am nearly positive that i won't get there, even if She gives me until the last minute of the last hour of the weekend. i've had too many Starbucks and not enough iced teas. She mentioned that if i fail that i wouldn't like the punishment, which by now i have no doubt that She has something awful in mind but what i do like, regardless of the outcome this weekend is that She set this goal for me and it is a good goal, one that i should have set for myself.

So many 'Mistresses' in SL are content to wreak havoc on someone's little cartoon avatar but more than ever, i can see that my Mistress truly 'gets it.' She can flog and flail emilee gackt all She wants but the ways that Mistress has gently pressed into RL have all been thrilling, challenging, exciting sometimes and now what She is doing is actually good for me and i am grateful in a sense that i haven't been before.

But please don't ask if i am still grateful next week when i will most likely be dealing with whatever Her punishment is for not reaching Her goal. i will have no comment.

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