The way things have been for me lately

For the last week or so, this was about all i could see of SL:



i tried all the standard stuff to try and fix it - clearing the cache (whatever that is), rebooting, reinstalling - but nothing worked. i even tried a new SL viewer, Emerald, and that didn't work. Mistress somehow got it working but then again, Mistress has magical powers.

So now that i can actually get into SL, this is literally what i can see:



This is the product of Mistress' magical powers of course but it seems symbolic in a way. i see all this blurriness and at the same time i have forgotten what it is to make Her happy and to have Her be pleased with me. i've been busy, distracted, traveling, etc, but the fact is, i have been letting things slide to much and too far.

Oh and by the way, sending a crash report doesn't seem to help at all. It just takes longer to end up being frustrated.

An unsolvable mystery

i am still a member of the land group from where the house was and i got this group notice tonight:

Someone in the group has left something in the winter kiosk. You may want to remove it before I find it.........
Thank you,
Rain

So the mystery is what it is. Actually there are a number of mysteries:

- What is the 'something' that was left
- If Rain hasn't found it, how does she know it's there?
- What will Rain do if she finds it before the person who left it there retrieves it?
- We had a winter kiosk? Where is that?

What perplexing bunch of mysteries.

Also perplexing: My career as a dancer.

What if Jan came to see me? i would be mortified. Maybe that is part of what Mistres has in mind? And Jan, please don't feel not welcome to come and see me in dance prison. You are always welcome to come see me or to not to. A little mortification never hurt anyone, right?

i've been waiting for help from a friend with the application but i am at a point where i just need to give it my best effort without help.

/me sighs. Wish me luck everyone. All two of you.

p.s.

i didn't mean for this post to sound so downbeat. just kinda came out sounding like that.

Friends

i just watched an old episode of Friends (which is good to point out because ALL episodes of Friends are old ones) where Chandler and Monica decided to move in together and Rachel wasn't all that disappointed because she was sure that it would never happen. Monica assured her that it was going to happen.

Kind of the same things happened with me today with Mistress. She assured me that yes, the dancer job IS going to happen. i didn't really believe that until i read what She had to say today.

The conundrum goes on. How can i please Her as a dancer when... how can i become good at something when i feel so utterly, totally, completely unprepared and unqualified for it? i guess i'll find out when i find out.

Well... here i go...

i went to the Twisted Orchid tonight and got an application to be a dancer. The application is so long, i should get paid just for applying and completing it. Sheesh!

It really is a dreary place and i will be the first to admit that possibly what i need here is a kick in the pants to motivate myself. On the other hand... even with the swiftest kick i can only be so motivated to dance for customers like these:




Mistress was right when She called this a conundrum.

Murphy's law

i logged in this morning and was delighted to see Mistress log in a few minutes later and then delighted again when Jan logged in a few minutes after that. Of course i had to tell Jan that i was with Mistress and of course She understood (as usual). It seems so long since i've seen either of them.

The big news today was a choice i was given. Maybe it is better to call it a dilemma. Mistress had arranged for me to be admitted to an SL prison.

**Side note**
According to a mutual friend, Mistress' RL has been quite busy and apparently hard to manage lately and so Her time online has been less than in the past.

Mistress felt like this prison 'sentence' would be best for me in her temporary absence and intermittent times online. Honestly i agreed until She explained it a bit better.

It is easier to get into the prison than out of it and while there it is unlikely that i would see Her much. i would only interact with the staff. The way She made it sound, i might not actually get out at all.

So over the course of our conversation, my fate in SL boiled down to two options:
1. Prison
2. Get a job dancing

Here is the odd part. If it weren't for the possibility of losing Mistress (and my friends), i would take the prison term over the dancing in an instant. i really abhor the idea but on the other hand, if it makes Mistress happy to see me dancing, then i will become a dancer.

i also have to admit that there is a lot of curiosity about this prison and what makes it so bad.

According to one lunatic we met outside the prison, the worst thing is that there is a particular Mistress at the prison who wishes RL cancer on your friends. Long story... obviously some language barriers and misunderstandings there but Mistress (my Mistress - not the lunatic or the so-called cancer wisher) showed Her remarkable patience once again by trying to have a sane conversation with this person, even though it was decidedly one sided.

The application...

i have the application for the place where i will serve my sentence as a dancer... god that sounds whiny. Please accept my apologies and permit me to start again...

-----------------

i have the application for the place where i will serve my Mistress by dancing and i asked a friend for some help with it. She is better at this sort of thing than i am and will be able to give me some coaching on the answers.

i looked at the posts from the last week or so and after i re-read the one with the pics of the clientele from the club (Twisted Orchid), i had the idea that it might not be a bad idea to spend a little time at the other option Mistress gave me, a place called House of V.

i am truly hoping that in this case, V doesn't stand for venereal. What would be worse than a case of virtual VD?

It probably really doesn't matter though since Mistress told me long ago that She wouldn't allow Her property to be used in that way.

Possible job opportunity in ranching

Who'd have imagined that with my lack of experience i would ever consider a job at a ranch?

i was at the Ranch today - yes, THE Ranch, and noticed there was an admin there and so we had a short chat about what it takes, how you get to be one, etc.

At this point, all it takes to start the process is Mistress' approval.

i have to say that if this works out, i will be challenged by the need to be fair and patient and forget my pet peeves and be objective.